"Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue."

A bride could check off three out of the four items in this old wedding rhyme simply by carrying Apple’s newest iPhone in her pocket. The phone marries the old iPhone 5 and 5s design with the speedier innards of the iPhone 6s for an entirely new handset: The iPhone SE.

Announced at an event in California last week alongside a new iPad, the iPhone SE doesn't tout any major new features. (In fact, it doesn't have any at all.) Instead, it fills a hole in Apple's product lineup. It's a smaller-sized phone with the company's fastest phone chips and best camera inside. Similar to how there used to be an iPod in every shape, colour, and price point imaginable, there's now an iPhone for every budget and size preference.

But now you have a question to answer. If you're still holding onto an iPhone 5 or 5s, or an older model iPhone, or you have a newer iPhone 6, you may be wondering: Should I upgrade now, to the iPhone SE? Or should I wait until the iPhone 7 comes out?

Read on for our take.

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Sure, you've read all about the best celebrity weddings. And there's always coverage of the best celebrity wedding dresses. But where's the praise for celebrity bridesmaids?

Yes, celebs are just like us. They Netflix and chill, they eat tacos, and sometimes they have to put on a bridesmaid dress. After all, you don't have to be famous to have a famous best friend. And it's an honor for anyone — celebs included — to be a part of their BFF or family member's nuptials. Right now, somewhere in the world, chances are, a star is planning someone else's bachelorette party. Maybe she's even holding bouquets or carrying the bride's train.

A-listers are used to being the centre of attention, but when they agree to be a bridesmaid, they're promising to let the bride shine. From Beyoncé to Jennifer Lawrence, we've rounded up some of the best celebrity bridesmaids, ever. Click ahead to see how they helped their loved ones celebrate their big day.

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Update: In response to the controversy surrounding Watson's former beauty ads, a spokesperson for the actress says: "Many artists often have limited control of how their image is used once an endorsement contract is signed. I cannot comment on my client's previous contractual arrangements with Lancôme. However, my client no longer participates in advertising beauty products, which do not always reflect the diverse beauty of all women.”

Lancôme has also responded in a statement to Refinery29. "Blanc Expert was created by Lancôme 20 years ago," the company says. "It helps brighten, even skin tone, and provides a healthy-looking complexion. This kind of product, proposed by every brand, is an essential part of Asian women's beauty routines."

This article was originally published on March 29, 2016.

Even with all the controversy surrounding them, it seems like skin "whitening" products aren't going anywhere soon. Global Industry Analysts predicts that the whitening industry will be worth some £14 billion by 2018. And from that £14 billion, plenty of people are getting paid.

At first glance, one such person appears to be actress Emma Watson — a feminist who has spoken out in favour of gender and racial equality. Online magazine Gal-Dem recently pointed out that Watson was the face of Lancôme's "Blanc Expert" line abroad, reportedly from 2011 to 2013. Though Watson's campaign is three years old and appears to be more focused on brightening dark spots as opposed to overall skin bleaching, it has prompted an online dialogue with users.

Many on Twitter and Instagram are calling out the actress for supporting an industry that is "designed to make us feel like our skin is a problem that we can pay for them to solve," Gal-Dem's Naomi Mabita writes.

Great @galdemzine #skinlighteningseries, horrified @EmWatson s fronting a whitening product https://t.co/eOUlxc9Yvm pic.twitter.com/1UCAZCiXzZ

— Afua Hirsch (@afuahirsch) March 28, 2016

Others feel that the ad simply promotes the correction of dark spots, acne scars, and other forms of hyperpigmentation and therefore doesn't pose a threat.

Watson, who was first announced as the French brand's global ambassador in 2011, isn't the only actress who has been criticised for appearing in certain beauty ads. Back in 2008, actress Priyanka Chopra starred in a controversial commercial for Pond's White Beauty.

"I was such a kid, I didn't even know what I was doing then — I was like 22 or something. But I realised that it made me feel how I felt as a kid. I used to, jokingly, be called 'kali' by my family, and that means 'dark girl.' I used to use those [whitening] products as a kid and I thought they would work...and I guess I grew from that," Chopra told Refinery29. She later added, "In any part of the world, judging someone's looks or judging how they are by the colour of their skin is such a primitive thought."

Of course, different countries have different beauty standards that are often rooted in race and socioeconomic status. "In the case of the Far East, in countries like Japan, Korea, and China, it doesn’t have to do with trying not to be Asian," says Dr. Evelyn Nakano Glenn, a sociologist at University of California, Berkeley. "In those cultures, there’s a long tradition for women of light skin to be equated with beauty, and also there’s a class element. [It means] you’re not working in the sun, which is an important [distinction] in an agricultural society."

It should also be noted that the word "whitening" (which is used to describe the serum in the ad) isn't always a sufficient translation. “It’s such a one-dimensional word. It doesn’t speak to radiance and luminosity and transcendence, and all these things that these products are supposed to do,” says Christine Chang, co-founder of Korean beauty e-commerce site Glow Recipe. “It’s not about shade of skin, but about an overall glow.”

Adds France Winddance Twine, PhD, a professor of sociology at the University of California, Santa Barbara: "Language really matters. In Asia you can say 'whitener,' in the Caribbean you can say 'bleaching,' in India you say 'lightener.' In the U.S. you say 'fade cream,' and if you’re marketing to older women, you say 'anti-aging.'” But that doesn't necessarily mean they’re all meant to bleach your skin — a practice which does still exist in many parts of the world.

Still, in other countries, the popularity of skin-whitening is more blatantly tied to racism and discrimination based on skin tone — which explains the controversy and politics surrounding similar products.

We've reached out to Lancôme for comment and will update the post when we hear back. But tell us: What do you think about Watson's ads? Are they harmful or harmless? Let us know in the comments below.

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In the wake of Instagram's announcement that it would begin testing a new, algorithmic timeline, people are freaking out. Kendall Jenner tweeted about it yesterday, and a host of stuff is showing up on Instagram itself, as well as other social media sites.

Namely, some popular Instagram accounts are urging their followers to select "Turn On Post Notifications" to ensure that you don't miss out on their posts.

But this is being blown out of proportion. Before you switch up all your Instagram settings to battle the new timeline, here's what you need to know.

What's Happening?

The reasoning behind the change, according to CEO Kevin Systrom, is that right now, people miss roughly 70% of the posts in their Instagram feed. By highlighting popular posts, trending posts, and posts from people you interact with most on the social network, Instagram hopes to ensure you don't miss out on images you would have liked to see.

We're listening and we assure you nothing is changing with your feed right now. We promise to let you know when changes roll out broadly.

— Instagram (@instagram) March 28, 2016

Has My Feed Changed?

Do I Need To Turn On Post Notifications?

Depending on who you follow, you may have seen a post like the one below in your feed.

Unfortunately @instagram has already made changes in the past that had reduced my engagement by 80% - but tomorrow, if you don't actively "turn on notifications," you probably won't see my photos at all. So if you enjoy my nature photography or just want to see what I am up to, please click the "..." Symbol in the upper right and click "Turn Notifications On." Thanks everyone!

A photo posted by Vincent Frascello (@vincestagrammed) on Mar 28, 2016 at 3:12am PDT

In fact, the line above about "if you don't actively 'turn on notifications,' you probably won't see my photos at all" is a flat-out lie.

Turning on Post Notifications gives you an alert every time that person posts something to Instagram. Chances are, someone posting something like this makes money off of your likes (or wants to). In their own self-interest, they want you to see all of their posts. It's kind of a desperate, needy ask — and unnecessary.

Their posts aren't just going to instantly disappear from your feed, whether you turn on Post Notifications or not. If you want to be notified every time they post an image, that's great, but you shouldn't turn on Post Notifications thinking that's the only way you're going to see that person's posts.

What Can I Do?

When the new timeline does roll out widely, it would be highly unlikely that Instagram would push it out without an option to switch the change off or on in the app's settings. That would be social suicide, if there ever were such a thing.

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Photographer Rowan Renee struggles with when to tell partners about the sexual abuse Renee experienced as a child — abuse committed by Renee's father.

"Once I told someone on the second date, while drifting to sleep after sex," they write in their essay "Bodies of Wood: A Legacy of Sexual Abuse," which accompanies their new self-portrait series Bodies of Wood. "Like I couldn't resist immediately making them run the gauntlet. 'I know it's intense, can you handle that? If not, you can leave now.'"

Now, with days until the April 7 opening of Renee's solo show for Bodies of Wood at Brooklyn's Peninsula Art Space, Renee is preparing to share their story with the world. Rather than represent events as they happened, the project's photos explore the lingering aftermath of incest and a family legacy of abuse by "depicting things I have felt in the process of working through my memories that I don't really have words to describe," Renee tells Refinery29.

The essay that complements the series offers more literal retellings. "My mother grew from a childhood where she was beaten up every day into an adulthood that was a revolving door of deeply abusive men," Renee writes. "Throughout my childhood, my mother told the story of how her brother beat her up at her mother's behest." Renee's mother's mother had been beaten and molested by her own father, leading Renee to ask, "Is abuse the legacy of all women? Does living this story make me a woman? It's a definition of woman I am reluctant to accept. Yet, I know it has defined my experience within my body."

"In the course of putting together this show, I have asked myself multiple times what I hope to achieve by telling this story publicly," Renee says about Bodies of Wood. "The answer is a complicated one, but what rises to the surface is that I believe the act of speaking is one that implicitly contains a desire, and an energy towards change."

Click through to read our conversation with Renee and to view the photos in Bodies of Wood, then view the artist's Instagram here and the details of their solo show here.

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Balancing work and career is difficult for any new mother, but there's a special challenge for women who have physically demanding careers. And what job requires more discipline or strength than a prima ballerina's?

In her book, Balancing Acts: Three Prima Ballerinas Becoming Mothers, photographer Lucy Gray gives readers an intimate, behind-the-scenes look at just what it takes to be among the world's best dancers, while caring for young children at the same time.

In the introduction, Gray admits that, prior to the project, she didn't hold ballerinas in high esteem. "I viewed them as self-centred and self-destructive — chain smokers who drove themselves to maintain the skinny bodies of little girls."

Her perceptions began to change after a chance encounter with Katita Waldo, a professional ballerina with the San Francisco Ballet, and her infant son, James. Gray asked Waldo if she would be willing to work together on a long-term photography project to capture Waldo's experience as a mother and a dancer. That led to Gray then meeting Tina LeBlanc and Kristin Long, fellow ballerinas, also at the San Francisco Ballet, and new mothers.

That project turned into Gray's book, Balancing Acts, which follows the three women over 14 years. Thanks to support from the San Francisco Ballet, these women were able to find ways to incorporate their new roles as mothers into their professional lives, resulting in some of the most stunning images of the book.

Gray also documented something she acknowledges no one involved expected. "All three ballerinas improved as dancers after they had children," she writes, "They were no longer dancing just for themselves." Similarly, the women found that time away from their children at work made them enjoy motherhood more.

That tension, between the physical and emotional demands and rewards of motherhood and career, is captured beautifully in the book's black-and-white images. Click through to see a selection of the images, accompanied by Gray's original captions.

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“Short-haired women — we’re like a squad. It’s hard to explain, but we immediately compliment each others' hair and ask where we got it done,” says Elena Polson, a New York graphic designer who sports a longer-on-top-shorter-on-the-sides crop. In fact, flagging down a random girl with an edgy pixie was exactly how Polson discovered Freemans Sporting Club, the Lower East Side barbershop where she now drops in for regular cuts. Yep, she gets her hair cut at a barbershop.

Ladies aren't completely new to the barbershop scene. Plenty of women have long preferred the efficient, less ritualistic atmosphere of the local barber, where a lack of bells and whistles translates to lower price tags and a refreshing, informal attitude. But the barbershop's appeal is widening at a surprising rate — and it's evolving well beyond its cut-and-dry image.

Places such as Freemans and Blind Barber (which has three locations in New York City and one in Los Angeles) subscribe to the long-standing principles of barbershops (they're quick, affordable, and entrenched in their neighbourhoods), but cater to a younger, "hipper" crowd. That means the barbers who work there have developed a sensibility that goes well beyond the buzz cut. They trim, shape, and layer with the precision of salon stylists, while reinforcing the communal spirit and sense of loyalty that draw clients such as Polson.

"We tie back to some of the really positive things of a traditional barbershop — which is community, which is service — and then elaborate on them," says Rob McMillen, head barber at Blind Barber (pictured here at the Williamsburg, Brooklyn, location). "We're all-encompassing, accepting of all individuals, and can understand folks with different needs."

That's not to say barbershops are no longer havens of red-blooded conversation and quick shaves. And they are, predominantly, male spaces. But many women, particularly those interested in getting and maintaining short cuts, are entering unfamiliar territory for the promise of a sharp new style and a more casual vibe. And barbers seem to be welcoming the opportunity to utilise their impressive skill sets.

Ahead, we take a peek into a few of these establishments, and find out why the women who frequent them have given up the salon, for good.

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Monica Bellucci. Let us count the ways. Thou art more lovely than any other noughties Euro babe. The ultimate bella figura, our generation's answer to Sophia Loren, and a living, breathing, Caravaggio painting made flesh (in a D&G fishtail dress). Too far? Our devotion is bottomless. Hence us dedicating this week's style file to the woman who could officially make a napkin look like couture.

The Italian super-babe was born in 1964 in Umbria and began her career as a model in 1988 when she moved to Milan and signed with Elite. She's been name-checked more times in men's mag's hottest-women-in-the-world polls than we've been omitted, and she made history as the oldest Bond girl ever (which is, ludicrous, but, kudos) in last year's Spectre with Daniel Craig.

However, our favourite Mon period has to be 1996-2006. Why? Well she met the thinking woman's Croque Monsieur, Vincent Cassel, on the set of their 1996 film The Apartment. They wed in 1999, starred in Irreversible in 2002, and became the globe's sexiest couple to have united ever. I mean, granted, they've since divorced. But let's not dwell on what we cannot change.

Monica, this is our insufficient, but very heartfelt ode, to your Boudica in Prada style...

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Some people dream of a "connected" home filled with the chiming voices of machines instead of people. "Smart objects" talking to one another, lights blinking and alerts beeping as they automate the domestic work you can't quite be bothered to do. Tech evangelists cite endlessly the projection that by 2020 there will be 6.4 billion connected ‘things’, many of which will be in the home.

But for others, the idea of a "smart home" is a dystopian nightmare: every connected object brings another means of harvesting data, and another corporation to sell it on to. We welcome surveillance into our homes, and pay for the privilege. And every device offering out-of-the-box omniscience is hackable, from smartphone doorbells to baby monitors (appropriated as the plot for a lurid –but believable – episode of CSI Cyber called ‘Kidnapping 2.0’)

From self-watering plants to camera-equipped vacuums, we wonder whether the effort of keeping up with smart tech can sometimes outweigh the effort of using normal, not-connected household appliances. Here, we’ve rounded up fourteen of the weirdest "connected" home appliances, and explained what they do, so you can decide for yourselves how smart they are.

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When we think of human trafficking, more often than not we think of people who have been bought, sold, and forced to perform sexual acts. But while sexual slavery is a horrifying form of exploitation that is all too prevalent around the world, forced labour may in fact be a more common form of human trafficking. And it could be happening right outside your window.

A modern-day slave is often hidden in plain sight. You may even have met one today — according to anti-trafficking organisation the Polaris Project, some of the most common hubs of labour trafficking are domestic labour, farms, restaurants, and even health and beauty services.

Photographer Xyza Bacani spent several months documenting the daily reality of survivors of labour trafficking in New York City. In photos, she tells the story of Daisy Benin Santos, a woman who was trafficked from the Philippines in 2008 and spent two years in captivity before she escaped.

Benin Santos told Bacani she had been tricked. Promised a lucrative job in a hotel in Missouri, Benin Santos paid thousands of dollars to her trafficker to bring her into the country legally. Instead, the trafficker let Benin Santos' work visa expire (leaving her undocumented), and took her to Panama, FL, where Benin Santos was forced to work as a cleaner. Her trafficker took the little money Benin Santos made and put it towards exorbitant charges for rent and food, keeping Benin Santos firmly locked in debt bondage.

"The hardest part for [these women] was the feeling of hopelessness," Bacani told Refinery29 by email. She added that the stories hit close to home: "There were some scenes where it’s like a flashback of my life."

Bacani, a native of the Philippines, spent close to a decade working as a domestic servant in Hong Kong, although she wasn’t trafficked. As a free labourer, Bacani had the ability to leave her employers if she wanted, and to pursue her own dreams and education on the side. But as a labourer and a migrant, Bacani connects to these women's experiences. "I’ve been on both sides," she said. "That gives me an extra perspective [on] these women’s stories."

Andrea Panjwani works with survivors of trafficking every day. She's a managing attorney for My Sister’s Place, a New York-based organisation that aids survivors. She told Refinery29 that immigrants are especially vulnerable to being trafficked. "They may not have the language [skills], or any sense...that they have a right to labour protections even though they’re not documented," Panjwani said.

"Labour trafficking is a very significant problem in the U.S.," she explained, estimating that there are tens of thousands of people trafficked in the New York City area alone. Panjwani said the problem has grown so large because: "Everyone benefits. We have cheaper products and services because people are trafficked." And the fact that the practice is so widespread makes it hard to identify and help victims.

"Human labour trafficking victims are hard to pinpoint because some of them don’t have physical proof that they are victims," Bacani says. "How should a victim look? We’ll never know."

As for Benin Santos, she's finally free from forced labour. After escaping her traffickers, she found work for a new family in New York City before finally returning home to the Philippines to live with her three daughters. "She loves her children so much," Bacani said of Benin Santos. "I'm really happy for her."

Ahead, powerful photos that tell the story of Dasiy Benin Santos.

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There’s a saying that goes: “Morocco is the closest furthest away place” because in just under four hours from London, you can be in the middle of medinas and riads so bustling and charming, you’ll feel worlds away from your desk and Pret sandwich. But, just when I thought Yves Saint Laurent’s Majorelle Garden (think lush greenery against Yves Klein blue coloured buildings) in Marrakech was the most photo-worthy place in the country, I stumbled across Morocco’s best-kept secret: Chefchaouen.

Situated in the Rif Mountains, Chefchaouen literally translates to ‘The Blue City’ as every building in the old quarter has been a shade of blue since they were first painted in the 1930s. Affectionately known as ‘The Blue Pearl’, residents will happily tell you that the tradition first came to be because Jewish refugees wanted the city to symbolise heaven, or because the colour blue is meant to ward off mosquitos – it depends who you ask. And every year, new coats of paint made from local blue henna dye are washed over the houses to keep the heritage going.

You can get there in about two hours from Tangier (which is what I did in a shared six-people taxi for 600 dirhams/£43), four hours from Fez and six from Casablanca, so go off the beaten track and expect some serious geotag stalking on Insta.

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Last year Cara Delevingne famously hung up her modelling mules to focus on her burgeoning acting career but now everyone's favourite set of brows are back in business fronting the new Saint Laurent campaign for the La Collection de Paris, showcased during PFW earlier this month.

Today Hedi Slimane, Saint Laurent's Creative Director who's rumoured to be leaving the French fashion house imminently, shared four striking black-and-white images of the Brit supermodel via the Saint Laurent Twitter account. Snapped in New York a fortnight ago, the images capture Cara in a black tux, glittering bustier dress and a fur coat. But it was actually Karl Lagerfeld who coaxed Cara out of her early modelling retirement with a Chanel eyewear campaign for SS16, however, this is the first mainline luxury fashion campaign the 23-year-old has done in some time. Cara first posed for Slimane in 2013 when she starred in the campaign for the Saint Laurent grunge collection and the fashionable duo have worked together frequently ever since.

Yesterday Jane Birkin was also unveiled as a new face of Saint Laurent, in a separate campaign for the fashion house's iconic Le Smoking suit. Doesn't get hotter than that.

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Plenty of treats in store this month, Netflixers. There's an original comedy from Ricky Gervais, a new sitcom starring Ashton Kutcher, and the second series of Peaky Blinders, which you really need to see so you can keep up with people down the pub.

If you have little ones, or just enjoy a bit of animation, then there is a plethora of delights, including "mother's little helper" Frozen.

On top of that, there are some great documentaries telling the diverse stories of everyone from 100-year-old athletes to big pharmaceutical company bosses.

Take a look at what's hitting Netflix in April.

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If you were a teenager in the 2000s, then you know about the cult reality show that was MTV's Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County. Whether you were Team L.C., Team Kristin, or, hey, even Team Stephen, the show had all the fixings of a great American teen drama.

There were crushes on classmates and crushing moments of betrayal. There were sunny pool days and shady prom nights. There were tanned bodies and icy stares. It was adolescent, amazing, and quite addicting.

So without further ado, here are the 15 greatest episodes of Laguna Beach, ranked by memorability and amount of Laguna Beachiness.

The following programme was shot over a six-month period in the city of Laguna Beach, California. The people, the locations, and the drama...are real.

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I was reading this interview with David Bailey the other day who admitted that the first time someone asked him if he’d ever taken a “selfie”, he thought they were referring to masturbation. That’s what a selfie is though, right? A form of self love – that occasionally tips into you getting off with yourself for everyone to see. Because what a typical 'selfie' is really asking is this: ‘Do you think I’m sexy?’

In 2016, we pretty much have sex with our iPhones. I might go so far as to suggest that the mobile is not only a means of communication, but also a rather un-sexily packaged vibrator (of sorts).

In my opinion, the selfies we send to our lovers privately are blurring with the images we post of ourselves on social media. When we advertise ourselves, which we do now, daily, we get lazy. Pictures so quickly become about how our peers – and then in turn absolute strangers – value our lives. The selfie is, arguably, at the forefront of that sexual stock, where likes raise or lower our value on the market in the blink of a tap.

As an unattached female, it can be a tricky game to play, because you're essentially inviting others to cast their vote on your physicality. On paper, the upside of a selfie sent with the aim of arousing one person, is that it's only going to be seen by one person, of your choosing. The reality, however, is that it could end up being seen, and commented on, by a lot of people, and that's why I don't send them, even when asked. Beyond finding the whole thing really unsexy, I'm just not up for rolling the dice with naked images of myself.

We meet potential love matches with our mobiles (dating apps); we advertise our sexual prowess with pictures (see above re: selfies); we remind current partners of our physical value (a Facebook profile picture change perhaps.) Sex, in 2016, is not something you have to do in person. It no longer equates to penetration or to two people being in the same place at the same time. Sex that occurs through a screen is just as valid as the traditional, fleshy act. 'Sexting', or 'Digital Love', or whatever you'd like to call it, is happening, and it's real, and it's shaping the libido of the next generation. It's everything we need as time-poor people: instant, spontaneous, consuming.

While a sultry, 'come-hither' selfie on the ‘gram might be a nod or a wink in the right person's direction, we're also using our private messaging apps to have full-blown, pretty explicit sex. I am of course talking about Whatsapp, Facebook messenger, the common text, Instagram direct messages – even Snapchat. In the words of Yo Gotti’s hit song, "It Goes Down In The DM". The ‘DM’ has opened up a whole new level of personal ways to interact with our sexual conquests. Yo Gotti is on to something: We’re all having sex in the DM.

Yo Gotti is on to something: We’re all having sex in the DM.

Being as I am, a 25-year-old woman living in London, it will not surprise you to learn that I have been sent dick pics. Caveat: a dick pic. Scrap that: a dick Snapchat. Yeah, a moving image sext. And it was intense, and I deleted Snapchat afterwards (sorry – you know who you are). But, you know what, I was slightly concerned with how little curated genital art I’ve been on the reciprocating end of, before I realised it’s because I’m not putting it out there. I’ve thought about it. I’ve taken well lit pictures of my waist and ass and I’ve sent them to my mates as kind of ‘yo, whatsupppppp!’ (give my life/body authentication please) messages on a whim, but I’ve always gone chicken shit at the thought of seeding them out to boys I fancy.

My friends, I know, do take pictures and do send them out. I'm not just talking a barely covered breast or a Kardashian ‘belfie’ either, I'm talking full-frontal vaginal and peni-gal (go with it) shots. One of my friends basically has sex with her long distance boyfriend via the use of Snapchat and some well-lit bathroom selfies, and it works for them.

It’s not just pictures of myself naked popping up in someone’s inbox that triggers a cloying in my throat, it’s sexting too. I have been known to send a boozy text that reads something like, “I want to have sex with you", or if the night has truly taken me, “let’s fuck.” But then I chicken out.

Yesterday, a boy Whatsapp'd me this question: "Have you ever had anal?" While a message like that might raise a few tuts from my friends, and while I was, admittedly, taken by surprise, I actually just laughed, then checked my emails, and then thought nothing of it. The sext conversations of my pals, that I have been privy to, go on forever. They read like bad porno-scripts. Clunky clichés and scenarios that set my teeth on edge – but I love reading them. Much like real sex itself, they begin with foreplay, come to a climax and crescendo with a mutual arrival at a destination; “that was so fucking good babes, oh my god” etc, etc, etc.

I usually have a few questions though. Just how ambidextrous are my mates? How can you get past the whole screen thing, and is FaceTime not just so cringe? Maybe it’s different because I’m single and live in perennial fear of the screenshot. In fact, if you’re reading this, and you live in East London, and are also in your twenties, I’d bet my last rolo I’ve seen a screenshot of some of your online activity. I bet you’ve probably seen some of mine too. Because we live in an age where everything is visible and retrievable and screen-shotable. When we're having sex on our phones, there is a third person involved: the iPhone and all the possibilities that come with 4G.

I’m imaging his housemate laughing at my sexy selfie; I can see him unlocking his phone and his boss catching a glimpse of my arse; I can imagine it’s getting PR’d on the lads' WhatsApp and I want to die.

It's sad, but I’m in a more vulnerable position as a single woman when it comes to images of my naked/half-naked self being shared, and that’s what stops me right in my Uber tracks after I send the dreaded and inevitable “let’s have sex" text. Because I start to imagine his housemate laughing at my sexy selfie; I start to see him unlocking his phone and his boss catching a glimpse of my arse; I can see it getting PR’d on the lads' WhatsApp – and I want the ground to swallow me up.

So, yesterday, when J-Lo was asked to agree ‘yes’, by saying ‘J-LO’, and ‘no’ by saying ‘J-No’ on some American TV chat show, I found myself nodding vehemently when she answered ‘J-No’ to whether she agrees with sexting. “Dangerous,” she said. “I’m gonna have to say J. No. That’s dangerous!” And that’s a very particular word to use: ‘dangerous’ and one I would employ in this context too. Maybe, as a celebrity, she’s especially paranoid too after the whole iCloud leaks where nude images of celebrities like J-Law and Selena Gomez were released, but, I think the word’s still applicable to civilians like us. Yes, selfies can be empowering, but once you abscond control over your image or send an explicit image detailing the tributaries of your clitoris, you are taking a risk.

For me, having coitus on your phone comes down to two very sexy words: Risk Assessment. I get if it’s your partner, or your boyfriend, or your long distance wife, and that needs must, and maybe I have a poor sense of imagination or a general lack of trust but... I'd just rather have the real thing.

I have to stop myself there because I've realised that largely how I engage in 'the real thing' begins with a text. In yet more words of Yo Gotti: “Snapchat me that pussy or FaceTime me that pussy if it's cool.” Just make sure you’re using protection kids – and by protection I mean some serious iCloud and data protection and some very complex emotional foresight. Apart from that, have fun!

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Sally Jones left the United Kingdom to join her husband in Syria. Yusra Ismail allegedly stole a friend’s passport to make the trip from her Minnesota home. Hoda Muthana aided the fight from Alabama, where she reportedly ran a Twitter account urging more Americans to move to the war-torn Middle Eastern country.

All three women have been identified as alleged supporters of the Islamic State group, one of the world’s deadliest terror organisations. And they’re not alone. A report by the nonpartisan public policy institute, New America, has found that women are joining ISIS in "unprecedented numbers." One in seven Western militants tracked by New America are women.

Last week's deadly bombings in Brussels once again highlighted the difficulty faced by Western nations trying to combat people influenced by the poisonous ideology of ISIS. Dozens died and hundreds more were wounded in ISIS-claimed bombings at the Belgian capital's main international airport and at a subway station. In Paris last November, the group's attacks killed 130 people. In both cases, young men born and raised in Europe were behind the carnage.

To stop more violence, it is imperative to understand who the Western foreign fighters are, the extent of the networks, and the threat they pose, according to New America's report, titled "ISIS In The West." That's why the group studied 604 militants from 26 Western countries reported to have left home to fight with ISIS or like-minded jihadi groups like the al-Qaida-linked Jabhat al-Nusra in Syria or Iraq. The aim is to figure out what motivates young women to join these groups in order to fight back against ISIS propaganda and recruitment tools.

Ahead, Refinery29 breaks down what we know about the Western women joining ISIS.

ISIS propaganda emphasizes sisterhood and the chance to live in a community of like-minded women.

More Women Are Joining These Groups Than Ever Before

"ISIS has targeted women in ways similar to [the ways] al-Qaida did before it, in that women are a mainstay of their propaganda and recruitment," Mia Bloom, a professor at Georgia State University, told Refinery29 in an email.

"However, unlike al-Qaida, ISIS has commoditised women and uses the lure and promise of marriage to attract thousands of foreign fighters from the [Middle East and North Africa region]…So, not only are the women ranked and then awarded to the men based on all kinds of criteria — including eye and skin colour — but, after the husbands are killed, they are recirculated in the system…and gifted again."

The data mirrors that of the Institute for Strategic Dialogue (ISD) in London, which found an "unprecedented surge in female recruits" to ISIS.

New America and others note that the demographic profile of Western fighters now is different from those who have chosen to take up arms in the past, in places like Afghanistan in the 1980s or Bosnia a decade later. Those fighters were practically all male.

Part of this can be attributed to the fact that ISIS takes anyone, and there are many roles in the proclaimed caliphate (religious-based state) that women can play, said Magnus Ranstorp, a terrorism expert who serves as quality manager of the European Union Radicalisation Awareness Network.

And ISIS recruits are young, averaging just 22 years old among the Western women, according to New America. Some are in their teens, like 19-year-old Shannon Conley from Colorado, who authorities say planned to travel to Syria. Conley was convicted and sentenced to four years in a federal prison. For her part, Conley told the judge that she never intended to cause harm, according to The Denver Post.

Push and Pull Factors

The London-based ISD study, "Till Martyrdom Do Us Part" looked at why women and girls were being recruited, the diversity of roles they take on, and how to combat the threat. The picture is more complex than the "jihadi bride" label often attributed to them. For their study, ISD tracked more than 100 Western women across online platforms like Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr.

Women can be pushed to join ISIS because they feel isolated, persecuted, or they feel an anger or sadness about perceived lack of international action against injustice. According to ISD, they might also be drawn or pulled by idealistic goals about building a caliphate; want to belong to a sisterhood; or glamorise what their experience with ISIS might be like. The women who are attracted to the fight hail from a variety of cultural, ethnic, educational, and religious upbringings.

They are like the Justin Biebers of the Salafi (ultra-conservative evangelical) jihadi world.

Ranstorp agreed that there are different types of women who are driven by a mixture of things. Many younger women are rebelling against patriarchal structures and they have a "romanticised notion about what the caliphate is."

The really young girls, 14 to 16 years old, are usually recruited in groups, and social media plays a significant role. Often, impressionable teens are lured by the idea of marriage to ISIS fighters who are portrayed as attractive and fit.

"They are like the Justin Biebers of the Salafi (ultra-conservative evangelical) jihadi world," Ranstorp said.

Many of these girls find themselves almost immediately pregnant.

However, while many of the young women joining ISIS are naive victims of the group's manipulation, there are also "veteran" women, Ranstorp added. The Belgian widow of a prominent terrorist leader, Malika el-Aroud, is one example of the veteran women who act as "recruitment sergeants," even recruiting men.

ISIS has commoditized women and uses the lure and promise of marriage to attract thousands of foreign fighters from the Middle East and North Africa region.

ISIS Messaging

For each "type" of women ISIS is trying to attract, they "are very adept at using a different message," Bloom said. They offer older women converts the chance "to create a new identity." Life is inaccurately portrayed as one filled with excitement where they will play an important part, Bloom added.

"In English, we have seen images in their propaganda of women on patrol, carrying guns and splayed across Toyota trucks. In addition to emphasising that women will be important and significant, they say that they will not be lonely and [will] have a support network of other women," she said.

For the young, the message is also tailored to basically prey "upon their innate altruism to do something important and 'good’ with their lives.'" ISIS propaganda also emphasises sisterhood and the chance to live in a community of like-minded women, Bloom said.

Education and teaching people how to independently assess information remains the best way to combat against this extremist ideology and recruitment, ISD found.

The aim is to figure out what motivates young women to join these groups in order to fight back against ISIS propaganda and recruitment tools.

Threat To America

While the risk facing Europe is "severe" because of mature networks of fighters linked to Syria, the threat posed to the United States is "low and will likely be manageable," New America's analysis found.

That finding is echoed by research from The Soufan Group, a New York-based security consultancy. In two years, the number of worldwide foreign fighters has more than doubled, thanks in part to a steady flow of people from Western Europe traveling to fight. France, the United Kingdom, Germany, and Belgium all contribute a disproportionate amount of these foreign fighters, but the number of people leaving to join ISIS and other groups from North America has remained "relatively flat," The Soufan Group found.

The FBI estimates that some 250 Americans have traveled or attempted to travel to Syria to take part in the conflict, which FBI Director James Comey acknowledged "is lower in comparison to many of our international partners."

So far, no one has returned to the U.S. from Syria and gone on to commit an act of violence, and there has only been one arrest for plotting a domestic attack, according to New America. However, ISIS-inspired violence is of concern, like that of the mass shooting in San Bernardino, CA that killed 14 people in December.

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Spring cleaning is calling our names. But do any of us have the time to sit and organise every inch of our home? That’s where organising expert Fay Wolf comes in. Wolf has just debuted a book called New Order: A Decluttering Handbook for Creative Folks (and Everyone Else) that's full of millennially minded tips that will help you clean-attack your space. Ahead, she shares a few of her very best strategies.

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A woman about my age and an older man standing close together were having a spirited discussion in my office’s lift as I got on the other day, until I realised that they weren’t and that the woman was telling the man off. "Why are you hitting on me in a lift?" she asked him sharply. "This is a business environment. Step back. Step away from me." He did, and was quiet for the rest of the ride down. I wanted to say something to the woman after we got off, but "What you just did was cool" sounded dumb in my head, while "Hey, you okay?" sounded condescending; she hadn’t asked for my take.

But the way she had handled a man in her face in a public place was cool — calm, unequivocal, and effective. It was also completely unlike how I tend to deal with unwanted attention.

I am accommodating. I smile a lot. When harassed in the street, I’m silent, other than the occasional "fuck you" I mutter under my breath (thank you, noise-cancelling headphones, for limiting the number of times I hear unsolicited comments in the first place); when faced with a distasteful advance one-on-one, I’m still sweet. Because I want you to like me, even as I demur. I want you to find me sexy even as I turn you down. And I hate that impulse.

I was out with friends recently when the stranger I had started talking to asked me what I do, since that’s what you ask in New York within 30 seconds of meeting someone, and so I told him that I wrote and what I wrote about. His next question: "So you must not be a virgin, huh?"

"Excuse me?" my give-no-fucks, take-no-prisoners feminist self replied. "That’s inappropriate, and I need another drink, bye." Except I didn’t say any of that. I think I smiled and protested limply — flirtatiously, even: "I don’t think that’s your business, heh!" And although I disentangled myself from the conversation soon after that, I was friendly toward this charmer for the rest of the night when we crossed paths.

You could call me a flirt. Or you could say that, due to both nature (how much of the urge to people-please is hardwired?) and nurture (from birth, girls are taught in a million and one ways to people-please), I’d like for you to like me, never mind what I think about you. Maybe there isn't a difference between flirting and wanting to be liked. But I feel acutely the disconnect between the person I am online or onstage — someone serene and steadfast in her conviction that every girl and woman should be the master of her fate and ought not to suffer fools, least of all fuckbois in bars — and the person I am in the bar, seeking said fuckbois' tacit approval. Go away, but please like me. Do you like me? Please leave me alone, if that’s okay with you, of course.

Yes, we do still live in a world in which rejection is often met with hostility and even aggression, and it’s not always safe for a woman to tell a street harasser or would-be suitor exactly what she’s thinking. But safety and the need to please can be separated. When I read articles of the "I did this thing for this many days and here’s what happened next" variety, I think that the hardest thing for me would be to give up smiling. Smiling is the lubricant I apply to my social interactions, my means of assuring those around me — men included and especially — that yes, I am happy to be here, yes, what you are saying is interesting, and while no, I don’t want to have sex with you, it’s not because of you. I just have to rejoin my cock-blocking friends or, so sorry, I have a boyfriend, but in a perfect world I would totally follow my heart’s desire and go with you back to your apartment in Murray Hill, I promise.

And that mental script — I may not be super into this, but don’t worry about that, I want to make sure you are — can spill over into sex. It’s part of why at times, some women fake orgasms instead of saying "Hey, that wasn’t totally working for me, let’s try this instead." It’s why, for example, I get anxious instead of enjoying myself when I'm getting head and an orgasm isn't imminent. It's why instead of thinking, this feels awesome, I'm thinking man, is this guy/girl giving me head okay, should I put on a podcast for them to listen to while they’re down there so they don’t get bored?

This isn’t strictly about the male gaze; I’ve felt this when hooking up with women, too. It’s about an external focus — a preoccupation with how the other perceives me that trumps my attention to how I'm feeling. Meghan Trainor’s new song "No" (which is a banger, so sue me) celebrates "no," but like mine, her "no" is delivered sexily. "All my ladies, listen up," she sings. "If that boy ain’t giving up, lick your lips and swing your hips, girl all you gotta say is no." Yes, girl, be exactly as sexy as you want to be for you and your sexy self. But I wonder why I can’t skip the lip-licking and hip-swinging and skip straight to the rejection, or the "not like that," "I changed my mind," or "step away from me."

Worrying about being unsexy — or worse, unlikeable — when expressing anything other than enthusiastic consent is exhausting. I’m practicing my "no." So are you a software update? Because not right now.

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Ariana Grande may be a dangerous woman as of May 20, but she doesn’t consider herself too dangerous to join forces with Reading, PA’s favourite daughter. Capital FM DJ Roman Kent asked if Grande would be interested in joining forces with Taylor Swift and she responded in the affirmative.

“Oh wow,” Grande said. “That would be so crazy. Do you have to do anything weird to get in? I don’t know the details. All those girls are really nice. I would be so down.”

The two have met before. Witness this hug backstage at the Grammys and this photo of the pair embracing on Swift’s Instagram.

Oh my God she couldn't be cuter. @arianagrande

A photo posted by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) on Dec 2, 2014 at 2:23pm PST

They’ve also been giving mutual props on Twitter for quite some time, notably here.

https://t.co/xVrzwudt2r

— Ariana Grande (@ArianaGrande) June 8, 2015

The pair also performed together at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, although that predated some rumoured beef between the two. We’re guessing things have been patched up by now and there’s no more…bad blood (sorry) between the singers.

Grande would be a perfect complement to the squad since Swift grew up on a Christmas tree farm (yes, really) and Grande is the size of a Christmas ornament. They're a match made in heaven, or at least the North Pole.

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